Freeing Myself to Love Better: Why Solo Travel is Self-Care, Not Selfish

For a long time, I felt like taking a solo trip as a mom and wife came with a weight I couldn’t quite name, other than just guilt. I went back and forth about booking a trip alone, without my husband, without my kids. The idea of booking a flight, packing my bag in front of them, and heading off alone, especially to another country felt... selfish. Irresponsible, even. After closing two businesses that were a source of income, on top of prices sky rocketing..flights right now are just too crazy to pay for a family of 4 on top of all of the other requirements of American life. How could I take a part of our budget JUST for me??

Society has a way of making women, especially Black women, feel like we have to carry everything—our kids, our partners, our work, our homes—without ever setting it down. And if we do? We better make sure we have a good enough reason, a worthy excuse, a permission slip signed by the invisible committee of “respectable black womanhood.” This isn't a "girls trip" for a wedding or someone else, its for me because I want and need to, and that doesn't require justification. Does it?

After a continuing journey of making sure I fill my cup first, here's what I know now: taking care of me is taking care of them. Women are the HEARTBEAT. When I step away to refill my own cup, I return with more love, more energy, more clarity. Solo travel isn’t about running away—it’s about coming back better. I typically do staycations in the city of Atlanta, but this time my spirit called me for more... it called for me to face my guilt and fears and go OUT of the country. I'm headed to Cap Cana, Dominican Republic in 2 weeks!

Solo Travel Is Self-Care, Not Selfish

As women, we pour so much of ourselves into others that we sometimes forget who we are outside of those roles. I know I need this reminder and a chance to be alone with my thoughts, reconnect with my desires, and move at my own pace—without having to tend to anyone else’s needs. I've done sooooo much in my life that has involved taking care of others, my business and home included.

I no longer feel the need to justify my choices, and I want other women to feel the same. If your soul has been calling you to solo travel and you're going back and forth about leaving your loved ones, here are some benefits to consider:

1. Mental & Emotional Clarity

There’s something about stepping into a new environment that forces you to be present because it takes you out of autopilot. When I’m away from the daily demands of home life, I can actually hear myself think. My mind isn’t running through schedules, meals, or to-do lists. I can sit in silence, journal, explore, and process life from a place of peace instead of pressure.

2. Spiritual Renewal

Solo travel is its own kind of meditation. I know that while I'm sitting on the beach, walking through a new city, and simply waking up to the sound of my own breathing instead of “Mom, can you—?” I will fall more in tune with myself and my spirit. Travel reminds me that I am a whole person, worthy of adventure and joy, even outside of my responsibilities.

3. Reconnecting With Myself

Before I was a mom, before I was a wife, I was me. I started a family at 20 years old, so I barely got to experience the person who was full of dreams, passions, and a curiosity about the world. I need to reconnect with that version of myself—the one who isn’t checking in with anyone before making a decision, who is free to be spontaneous, who follows her intuition without hesitation.

4. Letting go of the need to be "Superwoman"

Let’s be real: we’ve been conditioned to believe that “good moms” and “good wives” are the ones who are always there. Always available. Always sacrificing. But that’s a lie. You don’t have to drain yourself to prove your love. The best version of me—the happiest, healthiest, most present version—isn’t the one who never takes breaks. It’s the one who knows when to step away so I can return more whole. Lately, I've been SUPER cranky, moody, and irritable...honestly feeling smothered somedays, and I know it's not their fault. The same way we have had to learn our own lessons, I'm learning that my job is to help guide and support, but I CANNOT stop my kids from having "mild traumas" and lessons in life because that is a part of this human experience. I create more chaos in their life when I'm half full....and vacation fills my cup. I can't cater to all of my husband's needs either because we are adults with the same 24 hours in a day that both have to heal and find our own path and our alignment.

Dismantling the Guilt

The guilt we feel for prioritizing ourselves isn’t innate—it’s learned. It’s been passed down through generations of women who didn’t have the luxury of rest, the privilege of self-care, the option to just go. But we are breaking cycles, choosing differently, rewriting the script.

I had to remind myself that my family benefits when I take care of myself. My kids get to see a mother who prioritizes her joy, which teaches them to do the same. My husband gets a wife who isn’t resentful or burnt out, but fulfilled and excited to be present.

Instead of asking, “How can I justify this?” I started asking, “How can I afford not to?” How does my wellness suffer from not taking the time my soul cries out for.

My Upcoming Trip & What It Means to Me

In a couple of weeks, I’ll be heading off on my solo adventure. I’m beyond excited—not just for the destination but for the experience of simply being with me. I plan to wake up when I want, move how I feel, and immerse myself in the beauty of wherever I land.

This trip is a love letter to myself. A reminder that I deserve rest. That I am allowed to explore. That I can leave and return, knowing that nothing will fall apart in my absence. It is also right before Spring Equinox and my birthday, which makes it even more symbolic and significant to me. I know I will gain more clarity about the next chapter of my life.

To the Women Who Need to Hear This

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to book that solo trip, consider this it. You deserve time for yourself. You are not selfish for needing space. And when you return, you’ll see—just like I have on staycations and plan to do even more deeply on this international trip—that stepping away is one of the most loving things you can do for everyone you hold dear.

So, where would you go if you gave yourself permission? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your dream destination. For my first solo trip, I'm headed to Cap Cana, Dominican Republic. It's just what I needed, picturesque, small, secluded....everything at my fingertips. Thank you God! I can't wait : )

Sending you love,

Brandy